We make countless choices every day. From trivial decisions like what to have for lunch to significant ones like which university to attend. Life, in the end, is the sum of all the choices we have made up to now.
What is the basis for making choices?
When making a decision, some people base their choices on themselves, while others base them on others. For example, when asked, “What do you want to eat today?” some might say, “I want to eat pork belly today,” while others might reply, “Anything is fine.” The latter might genuinely not care, but often, it’s because it’s easier to go along with others.
I used to be like the latter. Even for trivial choices like lunch menus, it was more comfortable to follow others’ opinions rather than assert my own. But the problem was, this wasn’t limited to just food. When shopping, even if I liked a piece of clothing, I would worry, “Is it okay for me to wear this? Is the color too flashy?” and end up choosing something I thought wouldn’t catch others’ eyes.
Example of choosing a high school
When it came time to choose a high school, I also found it hard to make my own decision. The newly established school next to my middle school had good facilities and most of my middle school friends were going there, but it didn’t have an academic atmosphere. On the other hand, a high school my acquaintance attended was prestigious in the area but had outdated facilities. In the end, I asked my acquaintance for their opinion and chose the new school based on their single comment. However, once I started, the poor academic atmosphere stressed me out. I regretted following someone else’s opinion for all three years.
Being conscious of others in college life
Even in college, I was still conscious of others. I was always curious about what my friends thought of me. Some friends even told me it was uncomfortable when I excessively catered to others. It was only later that I understood why I was so conscious of others and overly accommodating.
The importance of self-esteem
I had low self-esteem. Self-esteem is the belief that you are valuable and worthy of love. Simply put, self-esteem, a term first used by American physician and philosopher William James in the 1890s. People with high self-esteem value their existence and aren’t easily hurt by others’ opinions or words. On the other hand, those with strong pride find their sense of self in others. As a result, they become sensitive to others’ words and actions and are easily hurt by unkind words.
How to love yourself
There was a time when I didn’t know how to truly love myself. I tried to make others happy rather than myself. However, through books and good lectures, I gradually learned that I am a precious and lovable person. I realized that having high self-esteem allows you to love yourself as you are and increases your happiness. I also learned that genuinely cherishing myself leads to consideration for others.
Now, I live happily, following my own thoughts rather than others’. We all have the right to live the life we want happily. If you are hesitating to make a choice that is truly yours because of others’ thoughts, keep this phrase in your heart.
The thoughts of others don’t matter. I have the right to choose for myself.